Purpose F.O.R.T.

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pedestrian: durpers, please!

longshank: another purpose fort?

pedestrian: that's factually an acronym

longshank: you heard it - back to you, jerry

joan: we're sorry, jerry can't make it in today. he's got a case of the argot carbourator akin to shavings of nature AKA frowning stork syndicate

audience: [laughter, but not too zealous]

joan: thanks. so up next, we're going to hear from patty, a mother of zero who needs a new tune to tap to. she's a taping expert in the field of cornicopia - for those of you following sports, that's "copa cabanna." let's git.

control room: roll 5

operator: rolling

copa cabanna: at the copa, copa cabanna. da da day de di da da du da...

couch potato: [flips channel] ugh. what gives?

child in rapture: what's a copa, daddy?

daddy: ask your baby momma

baby momma: [on the phone] ...and that's when i hit him upside the head with my handbag....

baby momma's momma: oh dear you didn't!

baby momma: damn right i did!

couch potato: you get me another tarro root to chew on? this one's mush

baby momma: [ignoring]

child in rapture: i finished it. the fort is complete!